Post Game Analysis

Gravy successful.

Stain removal successful.

This year as it was just G, the kids, and me, I stuck to the tried and true, unlike years past where I pull a Martha Stewart and whip up a few non-traditional items. Like the year my poor father couldn't get over the fact that there were no mashed potatoes on the menu. Instead I offered him a delectable Pommes Anna. That didn't cut it.

"Sweet potatoes or sweet potato casserole with the marshmallows on top?"

"Sweet potato fritters."

"Cranberry jelly?" desperately hoping for his jiggling magenta can-shaped lump.

"Cranberry and mango relish. Yes, Dad, those are pieces of jalapeno in there..."

One thing that remains the same no matter the menu: stuffing, always Pepperidge Farm, herbed, in the bag. I have been known on occasion to get slightly creative, hiding tasty tidbits in there and maybe combining a bag of Pepperidge Farm cornbread variety, but that's it. The stuffing is sacred. As a child I loved it right out of the turkey, but these days, it's prepared separately. Food borne illness be damned, I've just seen too much of the inside of a turkey to want to put my precious dressing in there.

And lastly, the turkey scene in this trailer comes to mind.