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Friday, August 10, 2007

Confession of an Introvert

Cracks are beginning to show on my crusty surface.

I am managing a hopefully convincing jovial exterior, bearing a look that feels like a grimace but is intended to be a reasonable facsimile of someone having a good time. Big open-mouthed smile. Is she laughing so hard no sound is coming out? Maybe they won't hear my feeble heh as I laugh not at them, but not with them either.

As every mention of a hat leads to a provocative rendition of "You Can Leave Your Hat On", or question about the time inspires a boisterous chorus of "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere", and every lame joke sends the joker and his minions into guffawing paroxysms, I feel the enamel on my teeth wearing thinner.

3 comments:

Becky said...

Uh oh. :(

Stephanie not in TX said...

You're not talking to people again, are you? Haven't I warned you about that?

Hornblower said...

You know, as much as I decry the youth's obsession with having little headphones attached to their heads 24/7, I have to say they are extremely useful in cases like this. An Audible.com subscription, a good audio book and an mp3 player & I feel almost as good as that woman in those old "Calgon! Take me away!" commercials - after she's been taken away, of course.

The real glory of this system is that eventually you don't actually have to be listening to anything - just having them on is like an invisibility cloak and you can cheerfully ignore everyone around you & just let your eyes slide past them as if they're not there.

It helps also to imply that you're taking some very important course and your time-limited subscription to the materials is about to expire.

p.s. re the museums, not only do these folks exist, I am afflicted with one for 3 weeks.