Frustrated

Today was a rough day, the kind that makes me want to send all the girls to school. This is the failure my mother has been waiting for.

I believe homeschooling is the best situation for any family willing and able to accommodate it, but I don't think that includes me anymore. My girls are lazy, failing to self-motivate, and I am unable to successfully motivate them, at least in a nice way. This might be something best left to professionals.

What does inspire them is making movies. Today their creativity was unleashed by an interest in the Civil War. Great! Go ahead and make a movie! Here are books on backgrounds, battles, first person accounts, photos, and historical fiction. But first do your grammar, math, and Latin. Oh. Not so fun amymore. Too bad.

I know, you're probably thinking, that's wonderful that they show such an interest. Go with it. They'll retain so much more by immersing themselves in the history.

To me though, that's too unstructured, and I'm too uptight.

Maybe I am only trying to prove how smart I am. Maybe I am trying to prove how much better my kids are than everyone else's. Maybe I'm just one of those horrible, overbearing parents overcompensating for my own shortcomings, trying to recreate and perfect my own childhood. Ick.

If my main goal in this whole parenting episode is to create and maintain a happy relationship with my girls, it probably isn't going to happen this way.

Is this burnout or a more permanent reality? I thought burnout could be cured by backing off and taking a more relaxed approach. We have been in relaxed mode since the holidays began. What now?